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Anger Management/ Therapy

answered 11:44 AM EST, Sun May 27, 2012
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anonymous anonymous
I have promised my wife I would get anger management counseling. I have never hit her but I do break things and punch walls sometimes. I do not mean to do this but there is something about her that makes me so furious sometimes that I just lose control of myself. I am not saying it is her fault and I really love her but she is a very hard person to live with sometimes. She said she would leave me unless I got some anger therapy so I guess I will do it. I would like to know how much a typical anger management session will cost and how many sessions it will take for me to get more in control of my anger. Thank you.

E W Says...

It's great that you are willing to attend anger management counseling! Costs can vary widely. If money is an issue, first search for community clinics in your area. If your employer has an EAP (Employee Assistance Program) those usually include a limited number of free counseling sessions.  If you have insurance, use it! You can also try contacting your local United Way for listings of resources, and any local colleges or universities near you with counseling programs may also have clinics for the community (usually using students, but they are closely supervised and still cheaper than private pay). Private pay counseling can vary widely from lows in the $80s to highs in the $200s per session.  Also, do not expect an "instant fix." Anger issues can be deeply rooted in how a person has always dealt with life, or habitual, or impacted by current life stresses and even physical issues. Be sure to get a medical check-up as well.  There will likely be several ways to address how you would like your behavior to change, ranging from behavioral interventions (just changing the "habits") to cognitive (changing what you think, to help change how you behave).  

It's also a good idea to have your wife attend counseling as well. If nothing else, she needs to learn how to support you in your attempts to change and to gain education about anger and relationships. It would be helpful as well if the two of you attended some counseling together as most likely there are some issues between you - either fueling your conflict or lingering because of it. Increasing your good communication skills as a couple will only enhance your relationship, avoid future unnecessary conflicts, and just help you feel better as a couple - all vital to healing.  

I applaud your willingness to look into change and take responsibility for your past and your future.  The difficult part can be actually "doing it," but the payoffs could be huge.  Nothing worthwhile comes easy - but the trade off - you will trade off time, energy and money for.... potentially a better life for you, your wife, and for you both as a couple - could be great! 

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