I am away at school now and my mom is alone in the house. How bad of a sign is this? My mom usually has wine with dinner and then after dinner she makes a big production of making a coffee for herself but then after she finishes the coffee she goes back and pours in a full glass of red wine in her coffee mug and finishes that away from me. Usually she goes out on the porch to read while I watch TV or internet in the living room. She thinks I don’t know and she only buys wine in big boxes so you can’t see how much is in there. When I try to call her on her sneaking around she gets pissed.
Hi there and thank you for your question. You're right to be concerned. Your mom is hiding her drinking and is clearly uncomfortable with having anyone close to her know how much she's drinking. Calling her out on it will never go well - I would sooner encourage you to talk with her when she's not drinking and say to her that you're concerned. If she becomes defensive (predictable) stay calm and explain that you are not being critical but rather that you simply need her to know that you're concerned because you love her. In this way we plant seeds.
Powerlessness sucks - please know that this is her choice. It's not anything you can control and she's lucky to have such a loving child.