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You CAN Raise Your self-Esteem

answered 04:09 PM EST, Wed June 13, 2012
anonymous anonymous
I have adhd and I dropped out of high school 3 years ago, got into drugs and drinking and haven’t really had a good job ever in my life. I am not good looking and I am fat. I still live at home with my mom and dad. I am trying to stay off drugs but it is hard. I go to a group meeting with some other people twice a week. I have to go by the court. They say I have low self esteem and that is why I use drugs. I think this is true. How can I raise my self esteem? Especially when I think I have very good reasons to have low self esteem, like not being very smart or pretty or anything very good.

Loren Gelberg-Goff Says...

OK... first things first... you do have the ability to change your attitude toward yourself... You have the ability to see yourself through a different lens.  I hear you whining about your life, and that never gets anyone anywhere except deeper in a hole.  So, the good news is you decided to write in for some assistance... that's step 1... the next step is you deciding to act on the advice you are given.  That's within your control. 

While staying clean and off drugs feels hard, please give yourself kudos for staying off drugs!  Excellent!

Saying you're fat and ugly is certainly a good way of undermining your self-esteem... I want you to look within yourself and find 5 things that are beautiful about you... it might be your sense of humor, your willingness to listen to friends, your strength to stay off drugs, your willingness to ask for help, being a loving daughter, etc... Look for your inner qualities that you have (and yes, even without meeting you, I am sure you have them...) that are beautiful...

What are you looking for?  What are your goals?  It's hard to move forward in your life if you haven't crystallized your goals and desires...

I would strongly recommend therapy, and not just therapy for addictions, but therapy to help you understand how to cope with your ADHD, self-image issues and what your coping skills are in your life so that you can make them more effective and positive...Your message sounds like you are also depressed, and this needs to be addressed in therapy as well.

You say that you are fat... You can get up and take walks everyday... do something physical to at least get you moving and out of the apparent slump that you are in...

I don't know where you live, but finding a good therapist is easier these days with the help of the Internet... after all, you found this site and are reaching out here. 

I have a practice in Northern NJ, and will be starting a virtual group later this summer focusing on self-esteem...

You might also look into doing neurofeedback, which has been shown to be very helpful in dealing with ADHD... (If you are not familiar with it, you can get info on it at www.eeginfo.com

While you have a number of issues that you feel are holding you back, they no longer have to hold sway over your life... You can take back your power and live knowing you really are well within...Know that you are are worth fighting for...

I hope that this gives you some food for thought and some ideas for direction you can take to change your life.  Please let me know if I can be of further assistance... Loren M. Gelberg-Goff, LCSW  (www.beingwellwithin.com)


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Page last updated Jun 14, 2012

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