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Addiction Erodes Our Ability to Connect and Maintain Sober and Sobriety

answered 02:58 AM EST, Sun June 17, 2012
anonymous anonymous
I am borderline and ADHD and I don’t do to well in group with a bunch of whiners so slowly spinning out their miserable tales of heartbreak and woe. I know that this makes me a bit of an asshole lacking empathy but that’s just the way I am wired. I am trying to stay off cocaine and I just keep getting pushed to these suck ass NA meetings which are just full of pathetic dudes crying into the junk they obviously no longer have. Its just not working for me. I need some sort of group for people like me. People who aren’t really sorry about shit and don’t want to cry about anything but who do want to stay clean and who are having a hard time. Any ideas? Preferably someplace minus the Jesus…

Delisted Expert Says...

You have brought several issues which bear exploring sometime later which are your declarations that you are borderline, ADHD, disconnected, irritated, and struggling with others recovering from drug addiction. From what I have deducted, you are attending NA meeting because you are addicted to cocaine?! If I don’t understand this clearly, I will apologize for any misconceptions or misunderstanding in advance.

Not everyone benefits from 12 step programs. However, the most recent research suggests that a recovering person needs some type of ongoing group. Part of the reason, is because drug addicts replace their needs for human beings with drugs. People have failed the addict so he/she finds something more reliable, i.e., drugs. There is an excellent book on this subject called “The Addictive Personality: Understanding the Addictive Process and Compulsive Behavior” by Craig Nakken, which goes into detail about this.

To answer your question, specifically, I know there are two other major alternative recovery groups to NA or other 12 Step groups. They are Smart Recovery, and Rational Recovery. To find self-help groups in your location, you can go to this website www.selfhelpgrouplocator.com. In addition, there is an online support group for cocaine addiction at cocaine.supportgroups.com.

Attending any support group can be tenuous for most people. The recommendation for attending recovery groups is to attend at least 6 times before making a decision to join or not. Most people, in early recovery, struggle with interpersonal relationships. Learning to relate to others is often a former skill which can be mastered as part of the recovery process. Have you considered working with an addiction professional who provides cognitive behavioral group therapy? You have many choices other than 12 Step groups if they prove to be not helpful to you. These non-12 Step groups are considered to be secular groups, and not religious.

I hope this information meets part or fully your need to find a recovery group which is a good fit for you. If I can be of further help to you, please do not hesitate to contact me.

All the best,

John W. O’Neal, Ed.S, MSW, MA, LPC, NCC

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Page last updated Jun 17, 2012

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