I am getting ready to start a poppy tea detox and I am considering so things and I have accumulated an arsenal of Kratom and loperimide and tenzepam. I I wonder if I am just repeating old patterns that got me addicted in the first place I am always looking for an answer to my problems or my feelings or my state of being in a chemical and another part of me just wants to not feel the shit. Have spent so much time on forums talking with people about how to do this and it seems like a lot of these guys are just switching around their chemicals and like a merry go round. Is there any value to feeling the full pain and giving your brain a full on detox or is that just masochism?
Hi there and thanks for your excellent question. It feels like your intuition is trying to tell you something. That small voice that tells you you're kidding yourself? Yeah - that's your gut saying, "We've been down this road before." Is there value to pain? Well, it's certainly not masochism - it's real. I hear Three Days Grace singing, "I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all."
So, yeah. It's time to get off the merry go round. It's time to break free of chemicals and stop living patterns that only go in circles. You deserve better. This requires rigorous honesty with yourself and yeah, it hurts. See your doctor and make sure you're safe. Surround yourself with some good people and get clean and clear.