Making Amends; Don't be Selfish!

A lot of us drug and alcohol abusing Christians (although we may never lose our Faith) come to wonder when times get tough…why has Christ forsaken me?

We wonder why we must suffer through the pains of addiction. We are not bad people, we pray, we have Faith; and yet little of God's love seems to touch our lives of misery.

Yet when we truly examine our lives, we often come to realize that although we profess humble Christian lives and a great religious Faith; inside…deep inside, we do not truly listen to the word of God.

We say one thing and in our hearts and through our actions, we profess something very different. You can fool a lot of people with what you say, but ultimately you can't fool yourself; and you can never fool Christ.

Psalms 34:15
The eyes of the LORD [are] upon the righteous, and his ears [are open] unto their cry.

We cannot demand from the Lord what He would give us freely…that's not how it works around here! We cannot say, "Lord, why do you let me suffer?" when we do not listen to His word and we do not act as He wishes. We ask for everything, but we offer nothing of ourselves in return.

If you make amends to those that you have wronged seeking something in return, then you offer to Christ nothing. Yet when you start to make an honest and empathetic amends to those that you have wronged, seeking only to do right by them; you also start to make amends to Christ.

And the difference is monumental, and once you start to truly act as a Christian, once you do right in deed and also in thought; you will find your soul cleansed… and to replace your spiritual conceit, God's love, strength and grace will flow inwards.

If you make amends to find God's love, you will find nothing.

If you make amends to to truly right a wrong, you will find God's love.

We don’t live in this world alone, and what we do has consequences, both good and bad. When we do wrongs, others suffer, and although making amends cannot take back all of the pain you've caused…it is the most you can do, and that is enough.

Before you start making amends, pray for guidance. Pray for the strength to do what is difficult. Pray for the wisdom to listen when you want to speak, and for the understanding that although you may not like what you hear, and it will rarely be what you expect it to be…it is what you must accept.

Understand that when you start making amends to others, that you must approach it with an empathetic heart. You must walk into the moment thinking only how you can do this best to right your past wrongs. Striving to create no additional pain, and only to ease whatever pain you can.

Do not expect forgiveness. It may come, it may not…but making amends is not about seeking forgiveness; it is not about you, it is about them and making things right for them. Whatever they may say to you, it's OK. It's what they want to say, and you need to just listen, accept it, and do what ever you can do to ease their hurt.

They may have wronged you too! It doesn’t matter. You are not trying to even a balance sheet, that's not your job to do! Just do what you can and think of their needs before your own, try to do no harm and try to make things better. You can’t do any more than that.

Put their needs before your own. You do it for them, never for yourself.

The sad truth is that when we drink or when we use drugs, the people we harm most in this world are also the people that we love the most.

How many wrongs has a long suffering wife endured? How much neglect do our children suffer while we selfishly use? What can we possibly say to make things right for such monumental failings and hurt?

Nothing

Nothing you can say can make it better. You can say you're sorry, and mean it, and this can do something. You can say that it won’t happen again, and mean it, and this also carries some weight; but in the face of such hurt, a few words alone can never repair the damage.

But you need not make amends through words alone! You can make amends to family through actions…a thousand and one actions over the days, weeks and years that will do an enormous amount to erase the harms you've done!

You can't walk in the door one evening and try to make amends in an evening to family…it's ridiculous, but you can do it through a lifetime of putting them first, acting out of love and concern for them always, and striving everyday, for the rest of your life, to ease that pain.

With time, you will right all wrongs.

When you make a full and honest amends, truly out of a desire to erase hurts, you benefit greatly. Do the right thing and do it for those that you have harmed and you will feel God's love.